


i keep wanting you close (the world doesn’t)

by eunbeagles



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Actress Mina, Angst, F/F, Fluff and Angst, i warned you, it’s sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:40:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28803678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eunbeagles/pseuds/eunbeagles
Summary: “it’s us against the world, and the world is winning.”
Relationships: Im Nayeon/Kim Dahyun, Kim Dahyun/Myoui Mina
Comments: 16
Kudos: 75





	i keep wanting you close (the world doesn’t)

**Author's Note:**

> hey hey here i am with a mihyun oneshot! its my longest fic yet! Hope you have fun with it!

Dahyun watches as the storm blares through the sky, fighting with a bolt of thunder. It is strange, indeed. She used to be the first to run away from this natural phenomenon because it was too loud for her sensitive ears. But now, she isn’t afraid of it anymore. Not when it brings so many memories Dahyun knows she can’t erase. It becomes one of their many routines, to watch storms. Mina is indeed right when she said it feels like she’s watching fireworks.

“Without me?” Mina rested her head on Dahyun’s shoulder, embracing her from behind as her girlfriend leaned back, pressing their bodies closer. Dahyun hums, “You were sleeping.”

“You should’ve just woke me up, you know?” Mina pouts, she knows that her girlfriend meant well, but still, she feels irritated at the way her girlfriend thinks it’d bother her slumber when thunderstorms are the only thing she allowed to disturb her sleep.

“Well, now that you’re awake why don’t we just enjoy this? You have to be away again tomorrow.”

So they did exactly that.

***

“Smells nice.” Dahyun voices out, her arms on Mina’s waist as the older stirs the broth. “Me or the food?” Mina teases.

“Both, but I like the cook better than the smell.”

“Such a sap.” Mina rolls her eyes, but the corner of her lips curl upwards.

“For you, always.”

“I really wish I can show off my girlfriend to the whole world.” Mina sighs, solemnly putting the chopped off ingredients into the pot, she knows the risk of it, but it couldn’t be helped. It is inevitable that she wants to show her relationship to the universe, shouting her girlfriend’s name and claiming her.

“You know that’s not possible right now, Minari.” The younger mumbles against Mina’s nape. At times, Mina always reconsiders giving up all the things she worked hard for so she could live a normal life, not in the center of attention of people all around the whole world. Just a Myoui Mina who would be marrying a certain Kim Dahyun someday.

But she is Sharon Myoui, an actress who would be escorted by reporters all day, a star that is expected to be perfect in every aspect. To be making money in such conservative country, of course she knows better than anyone else how her career would go downhill if the fans find out that she is dating, let alone someone of the same gender. But a part of her tells that Dahyun is worth the loss. Dahyun doesn’t tell her the same thing. So, she listens to her girlfriend instead of the little part of her, because most parts of her consists of Dahyun.

“Let’s just enjoy being each other’s girlfriends, okay?” Dahyun nuzzles her nose on Mina’s nape, making her girlfriend yelp because she is ticklish there. Dahyun giggles a little.

“Do you want a taste?” Mina offers; an attempt to change the topic so she could do just as what the younger wanted—to enjoy being each other’s girlfriend.

*** 

“And, cut!” The slate was hit, and the set roars with cheers from the crew at the success of the first day of filming. First day, huh. The shoot will go on for three months, and that is the minimum. It could be dragged to six, or even a year. She loves acting, really. But she loves her girlfriend more than wants nothing more than to lay in bed by her side. But she knew Dahyun would protest, so she decided against it. Outside the set, Dahyun awaits her girlfriend with a cup of hot vanilla latte. She waddles to where her girlfriend is waiting, giving a hug as she reaches her. It took all of her sanity to refrain herself from kissing her right then and there.

“How was my baby’s shooting today?” Dahyun whispers, not wanting anyone else to hear that pet name. She takes Mina’s hand in hers and stuffs it into the pocket of her coat so people wouldn’t see them holding hands.

“Missed you.”

“That one I already know, Minari.” Dahyun chuckles, walking in sync with her girlfriend towards her car.

“The male lead is a gentleman, so you don’t need to worry.” Mina reports as they both settle down in Dahyun’s car. The only place they could have some privacy to themselves, the window of Dahyun’s car is tinted so the risk of them getting caught is low. They kiss in the car, not realizing the danger that was bound to come. 

Dahyun drives both of them home, quickly punches in their apartment’s code so they could have some intimate time together. She knows Dahyun gets jealous at times, though Dahyun supports her wholeheartedly, the younger girl never once watched her dramas after they started dating. She just can’t see Mina falling in love with a guy on screen. It makes her skin crawl. Mina always teases her for getting envious of the men Mina wouldn’t bat an eye to. But honestly, that isn’t the reason Dahyun gets jealous.

Dahyun is jealous of the time Mina and her crewmates spent together, Dahyun is jealous of how the male lead of each Mina’s drama would have the time to sit down and have coffee while script reading with her girlfriend. But this is Mina’s dream, and it is her responsibility to support her. Dahyun presses Mina’s body against the door, impatient to claim her girlfriend right then and there. Dahyun’s lips captured Mina’s in a hot, burning, sensual kiss, one that makes arousal pools in the lower part of her stomach. 

“Dahyun...” Mina breathes out, moaning a little when her girlfriend sinks her teeth into her neck. She doesn’t want to push Dahyun away. In fact, she wants this, but she is tired and she has an interview to attend at night. She needs to be up by four in the morning for the drama shooting. “Dahyun, stop.”

Her girlfriend didn’t listen, instead, she goes rougher, sucking the sensitive spots on her neck roughly as she wants to mark Mina, Dahyun is strong, but she is weaker than the actress. “STOP!” Mina pushes Dahyun away, and quickly grips on her girlfriend’s wrist to prevent her from stumbling down. Dahyun looks up to her, shaking her head furiously as if to bring herself to reality. She sheepishly scratches her nape, “I think I got a little carried away there. Sorry.” 

Mina just hopes that Dahyun would get mad at her instead of being that adorable. It makes her heart ache that she couldn’t fulfill her girlfriend’s needs. “No need to apologize Dahyun.” 

“I’m the one who should be sorry. I don’t spend enough time with you because of my job, and we can’t even be public about it.” Mina’s gets misty eyed, even though Dahyun has been verbal about her support. She can’t stop Mina from doing what she worked so hard for just for the sake of her. That is one thing they vowed when they first dated each other- to not get in the way of each other’s jobs and dreams. “Mina, it’s fine. It’s your dream and I’ll be your number one fan. Always.”

“I swear one day I’ll let the world know about you. _It’s us against the world_ , and we will fight, Hyunie.” Mina says, seriousness filling her tone.

***

Dahyun rouses from her sleep, hand reaching for the spot mina should be only for her to feel the coldness of the unoccupied space. She sighs. She doesn’t mind it one bit, and that’s what she has been trying to tell herself all this while. It’s her job, she worked hard for this, and all that. But still, the bitter feeling still settles in the pit of Dahyun’s heart. Dahyun could follow her girlfriend’s lead, honestly. She pretends that it doesn’t matter, when it does matter to her. She acts like it doesn’t hurt to go to sleep alone, waking up to no one in the morning. For once, Dahyun hopes she could live in a relationship like a normal person. Where they don’t have to hide from the world, where Mina isn’t the center of attention. 

She stretches a little, turning the tv on and the screen is broadcasting the interview that Mina had recorded a day prior. She scoffs when the emcee starts to ask questions regarding her dating life. Don’t they have their own lives? Why meddle with someone else’s? She knows Mina will give the vaguest form of answer, she is a private person, after all.

Her ears perk up at Mina’s answer of her ideal type. It wasn’t the textbook answers the company would give. Dahyun is sure, Mina’s answer was hinting at her, “Someone who would fight the world with me, and for me.” Dahyun’s heart swells with affection, though she rolls her eyes at how the emcee exaggerated his reaction. She wonders if it is possible? If ‘they’ are possible. 

Dahyun kept her relationship to herself, for safety measures. Not that she doesn’t trust her friends, but anything could happen, and people are dangerous. Betrayals come from someone who you would never expect. So, it is better that she lessens the chance of betrayals. If no one knows, no one would expose. Dahyun thinks the risk is at the lowest if it stays like that.

The Korean girl groans when it’s time for her to get to work. Nothing so fancy about her job, it’s quite mainstream if she may add. Office work, nine to five. Her girlfriend had tried to convince her to quit her job, but Dahyun doesn’t want that. She can’t really be living off Mina’s pay, can she? And maybe, just _maybe,_ if anything goes wrong with Mina, she at least has something to fall back on. Dahyun gets ready with her work attire, tying her tie by herself because Mina isn’t there to do that for her. It feels lonely, though she isn’t really alone. 

She grabs her phone and keys, sending a text as simple as: _I’m going to work. ily. Do well on your shoot!_

***

Mina bows to her crewmates and slips herself out of the shooting venue. Her break is only for an hour, but she figures this is the only time she can see her girlfriend, and Mina isn’t the type to waste any chance she gets to spend time with her dear girlfriend. She drives her car to her girlfriend’s office, it’s a short drive so it doesn’t really matter. But what matters is how she’s going to get in, because telling the guard she’s Dahyun’s girlfriend isn’t actually viable, maybe never would. She intended the visit to be a surprise, but there’s no other choice than phoning Dahyun to tell her she’s here.

“Baby, guess where I am right now?” Mina says as soon as Dahyun picks up the call.

“Shooting?” Dahyun guesses, the sound of the keyboard being pressed audible to Mina.

“I was at the shooting. But now I’m at your office!” the actress beams, and Dahyun smiles at the phone, catching the glee in her girlfriend’s voice, forgetting that she has to respond.

“Aren’t you going to let me in?”

Dahyun can hear Mina’s pout from the phone, giggling a little. Her office mates give her a weird look, and a teasing smirk. “I’ll go down, it’s… dangerous for us to meet in my office.”

“I’ll give you three minutes. One kiss for every second you’re late!” Mina threatens, grinning like an idiot since her girlfriend can’t see her for now. “Aye, aye!” Dahyun ends the call, the rushed footsteps can be heard from the other end of the line. 

“So… how many kisses will I need to give you?” Dahyun opens the door to Mina’s car, and that was the first thing she said. Dahyun looks a little too excited to meet Mina, but the actress is not complaining. She wants to see more of this Dahyun, even. “You’re 2 minutes late, so… 120 kisses?” Mina chimed, leaning her right cheek closer to her girlfriend so she could kiss it. 

“That’s too many!” the younger feigns sulking, crossing her arms to her chest, but still presses her lips on Mina’s soft cheek. Mina turns her head to give Dahyun her other cheek, and her girlfriend is more than willing to leave a peck there too. “Are we going to spend your whole break in your car?”

“This is the only place you can kiss me, so yes we are.” Mina replies, puckering her lips as a cue for Dahyun to kiss the tempting lips. The younger leans in, but it isn’t just a long press or a chaste kiss, it is less than chaste, and Mina can’t blame Dahyun either, her pent up frustration from the lack of time together. Mina figures she'll give what Dahyun wants this time. Not like there’s any other time they could do this. Her drama shoot is 3 months long, and that’s the minimum.

They lost track of time, blinded by the way Dahyun pleasured her in more ways than one. “Oh, shit! I’m late!” Mina cusses, scrambling off to fix herself so that she looks presentable. Dahyun hides her hurt expression when her girlfriend pushes her off, just like yesterday. “I’ll get going then.” Dahyun announces, fixing her necktie and collars. She tucks her blouse in her skirt. She didn’t wait for Mina to say goodbye, not wanting her girlfriend to realize the pain drawn on her face. She mutters a slow ‘good luck and gets out of her girlfriend’s car.

Mina rushes to the set, given she’s already ten minutes late. She ignores how her heart breaks when Dahyun just exits the car, not even waiting for her to say goodbye. But she has a career to focus on, and for now, she puts her relationship aside. Her career ought her to be professional, she can’t let a stupid feeling to get in the way.

“Have you had…” Jihyo pauses when she sees Dahyun entering the office, shocked at how her officemate looked like. Her hair was disheveled, and there was a lipstick print on the collar of her shirt. The purple mark on her neck is noticeable too, “lunch?”

“I haven’t, let’s have lunch together.” Dahyun suggests, and Jihyo scratches her nape. “You might want to fix yourself first…”

“What?”

“hmm, hickey and… your hair.” Jihyo points at one point on her own neck where Dahyun’s hickey would be at. Dahyun brushes her finger on her neck, and excuses herself to go to the bathroom. The reflection of her on the mirror tells enough about what she did earlier. But she isn’t worried about herself. What if there’s a reporter photographing her exiting Mina’s car looking like that? What would happen to Mina?

She covers up the hickey using her concealer, thanking God she decided to bring her make-up to office today.

***

Jihyo doesn’t know if it is appropriate to ask (it’s not), but she is curious. For all she knows, her officemate is single so what could possibly explain the hickey and the lipstick mark, she slurps the noodles, eyes looking at the girl in front of her. “Do you have a boyfriend?” Jihyo blurts out after swallowing the noodles. Dahyun remains composed, waiting to finish chewing her food.

“I don’t.”

“Then, a girlfriend?” Jihyo lifts an eyebrow, amused at how calm her friend is. People would’ve freak out if they were asked this question. Dahyun smiles, but doesn’t answer. Instead, she continues on eating her lunch until the bowl is clean. “I’ll pay.” Dahyun offers, going to the counter to avoid any more conversation on that topic. Jihyo finds it odd, but she doesn’t pry further, knowing pushing Dahyun to open up is like telling a rain to stop. It wouldn’t work. Plus, Dahyun is a very private person, it would be disrespectful for her to cross the boundaries like that. Dahyun only tells what she wants to tell.

Entering the office again, she was welcomed by a teasing grin from Chaeyoung and Nayeon. Dahyun just shrugs it off, walking over to her desk to finish her work. Dahyun figures that the two might have seen her state after the quickie. She doesn’t really want to be interrogated right now. She needs a distraction, and work seems to be the greatest one. So that’s what she exactly did.

***

Mina is ready to get a good scolding from the director; it was her fault anyway for not being alert of the time passing. She bows and mumbles her apologies for being unprofessional, the director just let her off the hook, maybe there’s some favoritism there. But favoritism is always a good thing when you’re in favor so Mina doesn’t mind.

The male lead, Eunwoo approaches her, and whispers to her ear. “There’s lipstick marks on your cheek. Go clean it up or the people would make a fuss over it.” 

Mina smiles in gratitude to her male lead, knowing he really is a gentleman. She asks for wet tissues from her manager, wiping off the lipstick marks Dahyun left on her cheek. She’s thankful to have a caring male lead, but it always comes with a con when her pair is too nice for good. Mina doesn’t realize Eunwoo and her was captured and it would be a really good publicity stunt for their drama. The dating rumors would resurface and people would watch the drama. The ratings would increase, and it would do good to the casts’ acting careers too. It’s more pros than cons.

“How do you do that?” Eunwoo asks, sitting across her female lead as he waits for the director to call for him. Mina peers her head up to the actor, stopping her scroll on her phone. “Do what?”

“Acting with me when you have a girlfriend? I don’t think I could ever do that if I were to have a girlfriend.” Eunwoo explains, it amuses him, actually. Having to pretend to fall in love with someone who isn’t her lover. Mina chuckles a little at her peer, not realizing a camera is always ready to photograph their lover-like interaction. 

“It’s professionalism, I guess. My girlfriend gets jealous too. She supports me in my acting, but she never watches my drama or movies. Probably because she pushes me to keep going, so I think I’m doing this for her.” Mina answers, and Eunwoo’s eyes shine with respect. But of course, people behind the camera would interpret as something else. Something Mina only has for Dahyun.

“Eunwoo, Mina, get ready for the next scene!” the director’s voice resonates through the megaphone, startling them both and making them giggle as their body jolts at the sudden call. And the camera shutter was clicked.

***

The company dinner is one of the things Dahyun hates the most, she hates how she has to fake a smile to the VIPs when she actually despises them. But today, everyone was obligated to attend, and Dahyun wouldn’t want to lose her job to her stubbornness. So she sucks it up and shows up at the fancy restaurant her company had rented. She finds the table where Chaeyoung, Nayeon and Jihyo sit. Plopping herself onto the empty chair, she sips on the water served on the table. “It isn’t like you to join company events, Kim.” Nayeon points out, earning nods of agreement from the other two.

“It’s not like I’m willing to. This is low-key a blackmail.” Dahyun deadpans, not even bothering to get up for the buffet. 

The CEO enters the restaurant, and everyone stands up in respect of hierarchy, Dahyun scoffs internally. How hypocrite could they be? They talk shit about the CEO almost every time. But who was she to judge, she’s just like them. They only sit when the CEO told them to. The most powerful man in the company begins his speech, and Dahyun couldn’t care enough, only getting the part where he already paid for the whole buffet, which prompts the room to roar with cheers and applause.

“Enjoy your meal! You guys worked hard!” the man ends his speech, cue everyone to focus on the food on the table.

Everyone dissolves into their own chatter and gossip, Dahyun’s table included. The pale girl absolutely hates the topic. Maybe she shouldn’t hate Jihyo for bringing that up, but she couldn’t help it. Not when their conversation revolves around her girlfriend and her girlfriend’s partner in the drama.

“They look so cute together, don’t they?” Jihyo shows her phone to everyone, and indeed, Mina and Eunwoo definitely looked together. The picture of Eunwoo whispering something to Mina’s ear made it seem like they were actually dating. 

“I think they’re dating.” Chaeyoung states matter-of-factly. 

Dahyun doesn’t blame Chaeyoung, not when a picture like that exists, and she also knows better than to accuse Mina of cheating. It’s one of the most common things in her field of work. But, it’s normal to feel jealous, right? She trusts Mina enough, but her jealousy is inevitable. Someone gets to be that close to her girlfriend and she needs to hold back from telling everyone that Sharon Myoui is her girlfriend. Instead of saying anything, Dahyun chugs on the champagne, worrying her friends. The oldest tries to snatch the glass from her but the girl chugs on the alcohol too quickly so that the glass is clean from any liquid. 

“Do you hate company events that much?” Chaeyoung asks, and her senior just slumps her head on the table, hoping one of her co-workers would take her home. The mental fatigue of dating someone with such a high reputation is overwhelming. She doesn’t want the physical fatigue to catch up too. It wears her out, the thought of Mina being surrounded by so many actors. The alcohol is her only savior at the moment, allowing her to forget everything that has been going on.

“I’ll take her home.” Nayeon offers, guiding the drunk girl to stand up, her arm draping over her shoulder for support. The other two shakes their heads, wondering what has gotten into Dahyun for her to drink that fast. She was never good at handling alcohol, so why was she drinking that champagne like her life depended on it? But, they both know Dahyun is an unsolvable puzzle. Dahyun doesn’t let people in, and they didn’t try to enter either. 

Dahyun wants to fight the world, but is that even possible?

***

Nayeon is curious about a lot of things. One of her curiosity includes Dahyun, because of how mysterious she is. Dahyun doesn’t tell anyone anything, unless asked, and her answer always comes in the vaguest form. But Nayeon has known the younger since the college days, and it just feels like a responsibility to take care of her, she sees her as a little sister she never had. She buckles the seatbelt for Dahyun, seeing her in that state just breaks her heart, but what breaks her more is the fact she doesn’t know anything about the girl and she can’t help in any way. 

The fact that Dahyun touches alcohol when she can’t even sniff it without vomiting is enough giveaway that Dahyun is going through something. She hates to admit how vulnerable the younger looks right now, because Dahyun always tries her best to appear strong in front of others. Dahyun’s voice snaps her out of her trance just then.

“I miss…,” Nayeon furrows her brows, she wasn’t supposed to hear this, was she? But, why is she so attentive to what’s going to come out next to the younger’s mouth. She keeps mum on purpose, but nothing else is heard. She sighs, focusing on the road instead. She turns the radio on, letting the R&B from the early 2000’s fills up the silence. 

“Mina.” Nayeon didn’t hear that.

One thing Nayeon forgot is how private Dahyun was. Dahyun never tells anyone where she lives. The younger looks too wasted. Nayeon doesn’t think she’s able to interpret her question if she asked. So, she does the only logical thing she could think of- taking Dahyun to her house instead. She steers her wheel so she could turn at the corner, and drives straight to where her apartment was. She carries Dahyun in a bridal style, riding the elevator to the 32nd floor.

She puts Dahyun to bed; she considers changing Dahyun into a comfier cloth but she’s worried the girl might be uncomfortable, so she decided against it. Out of respect, Nayeon took the courtesy of sleeping on the couch even though the living room isn’t accommodated by the heater and the night weather is freezing her to her bones. She wonders what made her do this. Is it empathy? Responsibility? She isn’t sure.

But one thing she’s sure of—she wants to take care of Dahyun.

***

The thunder jolts her awake from her sleep, and Dahyun rubs her eyes with her fingers. She scans the room she’s in; it’s unfamiliar. It isn’t the room painted in a soft brown color palette Mina and her decided together. It isn’t the vintage wooden closet Mina and her shares together. It isn’t the study desk they bought from ikea where Mina’s scripts pile up. How did she end up here? 

She lifts the blanket to check her body, breathing a sigh of relief when she’s still in the same cloth from yesterday. That’s when it hits her, she was wasted yesterday, and who brought her home? Was it Nayeon? 

She massages her temples, too much realization hitting at once. She tries to stand up, head dizzy, but she was never one to care about herself so she collects the remaining bits of her energy and wobbles her way out of the room. Everything seems shaky and blurry, and Dahyun lets her feet control her and bring her to anywhere in this unfamiliar apartment. She ends up in the living room, trying to analyze the face sleeping on the couch. “Nayeon?”

Nayeon, ever the light sleeper, flutters her eyes open at the sudden call of her name. She sits up, “Oh, you’re awake?”

“Yeah.” Dahyun lands her butt on the single couch across the long couch. 

“Do you want a glass of water?”

“Sure.” Dahyun slumps her back on the couch.

So many questions occupy Dahyun’s mind: Why is Nayeon always so nice? Why is Nayeon taking care of her? Why did Nayeon offer to take her home? She could’ve just hailed her a cab.

Nayeon sets the glass on the table while she takes a sip from her own. Dahyun drinks it down in one go, thirsty since the last thing she drank was a glass of champagne. She then initiates the conversation, “Why did you do all this?”

“All this?”

“Driving me home. Letting me sleep in your bed while you suffer in the cold. Not changing me out of my clothes.” Dahyun lists down the deeds Nayeon did for her that night.

 _Why did she?_ Nayeon wonders about that too.

“I just want to take care of you, I guess?”

Dahyun nods, and she has never been a girl of many words so she keeps silent. Nayeon should have felt awkward when it’s just them and the rain, but why is she feeling so comfortable with this silence? She studies the younger’s face, it’s bright, but it’s also dim. Does that even make sense?

“Are you okay?” Nayeon asks.

_I am not. I have a girlfriend but it feels like I don’t. I have to see my girlfriend’s name and another guy’s in the same headline about dating and pretend it doesn’t hurt. We’re together, but we’re also apart. It doesn’t make sense. But it hurts._

“Why would I not be okay?” Dahyun flashes her a thin smile, hoping it was enough to convince the older.

Nayeon recognizes that smile; it’s the one she does when she doesn’t want to answer the questions. The most recent example was when Jihyo asked her about having a boyfriend. So, they let the silence wrap themselves once again, just enjoying each other’s company.

***

Dahyun comes home to an empty apartment, it doesn’t surprise her but it’s still disheartening. Should it even be called home? 

She turns on the television, and changes the channel almost immediately when she sees Eunwoo’s face on the screen. She believes her girlfriend when she said he’s a gentleman, but it didn’t tone down Dahyun’s jealousy one bit. She scrolls her timeline on twitter, only to find out the drama’s ratings soar up high because of the dating rumor. 

“Way to ruin my day.” She mutters to herself.

_(2) My world sent a text_

She opened the text, lips curling into a smile absentmindedly.

**My world**

Lunch? I have no scene left to shoot

for today ;)

I don’t think I want to go out Mina

Oh, is my baby okay? Should I buy takeout

and eat in?

sounds like a great idea, see you babe!

Mina comes home with two portions of takeout food from their favorite Chinese restaurant. They settle on the long sofa, watching whatever on the TV that is not Mina’s latest drama. Dahyun tangles her legs onto Mina’s, wanting to feel the skin on skin contact from her girlfriend. She lays her head on Mina’s chest; she believes it’s the safest and secure place when she is able to hear Mina’s heartbeat. 

Dahyun yanks the emptied box aside, giving her girlfriend full attention. It’s a rare occasion they can spend their time alone like this, so she figures she should make the best out of it. She peppers the actress with chaste kisses, and Mina breaks into a fit of giggles when Dahyun kisses a particular ticklish spot.

“What’s gotten into my girlfriend?” Mina pokes her nose, leaning her forehead on the younger’s.

“I don’t know, but I hope her lover would.” Dahyun retaliates innocently, liking how Mina always gets red whenever she flirts like that.

“I just got back for 30 minutes and you’re already thinking about sex?” 

Dahyun stares at Mina silently.

“Let’s do it.”

_Mina made Dahyun think fighting the world is possible for a moment._

***

Award shows are boring, that was one thing Mina learnt from her years of being an actress. It is unnecessarily long, but she also looks forward to the winners. They live in a fucked up industry, where money could overpower talent, so some awardees are rendered unworthy of the entitlement.

But that isn’t nearly what she hates the most about award shows.

The problem with being an actress is, whenever you attend an award show, you always have to attend with an actor, mostly from your recent dramas. It is a good publicity stunt, really. People would look forward to her chemistry with the male lead, and then garner more viewers. But Mina never enjoyed it. The attention, nor the benefits. She knows what Dahyun would feel. 

She sets off from the limousine her company rented for her, Eunwoo opening the car door like a gentleman he is. Mina could see how Eunwoo slightly cringed when his fangirls started to squeal. Mina feels the same.

They sit through the almost 5-hours-long award shows, almost 5 hours of feigning interests and of fake smiles. 

Mina isn’t happy with the best couple award they received.

She quickly searches for her manager when the show ends, immediately asking for her phone politely, but her manager was cold.

“Myoui, what’s this?” her manager flashes her phone screen to the actress, the screen displaying a picture of someone who she knows so well. 

a picture of dahyun walking out of her car, hair disheveled and neck adorned with hickeys.

Mina is rendered speechless, she should have been more mindful. She totally forgot how there is always at least a reporter following her around. The manager’s voice then snapped her out of her daze.

“Myoui, do you have an answer to this?”

Mina keeps mum, she does have an answer to it. But she knows that her answer wouldn’t count as a valid one.

“I’ll take that as a no.” the manager says again, monotonously. “The company will make their own answer to my question. The picture has already spread around social media. Here’s your phone if you might want to check it.”

She snatches her phone out of her manager’s hold, hastily punching in her passcode. She doesn’t care about how the netizens would react. She only cares about one thing— Dahyun.

She opens her message application, and her heart drops to her stomach as she reads Dahyun’s apology text. It’s not long, but it’s impactful: _I’m sorry, it’s my fault. I should have controlled myself that day._

She was about to reply, but her manager beat her to it. “The company is having an emergency meeting about this. We’re going straight there.”

Mina sighs, knowing full well what is going to happen once she’s in the meeting room.

***

Dahyun checks her phone for almost the hundredth time. No messages, no calls from her girlfriend. Please let her girlfriend be fine. Please don’t let this relationship ruin her career. Please.

***

Dahyun comes home to no one for the next few days and this occurrence isn’t even unusual, given that Mina is an actress. But this time, it feels different. So, different. Like something is going to happen; she doesn’t think she will like whatever that is.

***

Mina doesn’t have the courage to face Dahyun, not after she finds out the company’s verdict. She feels guilt washing over her body. She’s embarrassed to see her girlfriend. Right now, she’s just waiting for the company to drop the bomb.

She opts for staying at a hotel from the time being, avoiding any chance to bump into her girlfriend.

Mina goes from the most excellent actress in the team to the most scolded. Mina doesn’t even care. “Mina, are you okay?”

Eunwoo treasures Mina as a friend. He could see how in despair Mina is. 

Mina doesn’t want to show this weak side of her to anyone, but, right now, she couldn’t care less. Mina buries her face on Eunwoo’s shoulder. She gives zero damn about how she’s feeding into the false statement her company is going to release. 

“I’m not okay.” Mina sobs.

“I miss my girlfriend but I’m too embarrassed to see her. I want to show her off to everyone but I can’t because of this career. I want to kiss her, hold her, hug her anytime I want to but I can’t. It just sucks.”

Eunwoo keeps his hands off Mina's body. He doesn’t want to touch any girl's body without permission. “If you miss her, why don’t you go home?” Eunwoo suggests, voice soothing and not pressing Mina to do as she was told.

“I’m embarrassed. I don’t think I can handle the guilt when the statement comes out.” Mina wails into Eunwoo’s shoulder, and the actor doesn’t seem to mind his cloth being soaked with tears.

“It’s okay, Mina. We never know what will happen.”

***

**HOT: JYPE CONFIRMS ACTOR CHA EUNWOO AND ACTRESS SHARON MYOUI ARE DATING**

The headline gives away every answer Dahyun has been looking for. No wonder her inbox and call logs are empty, no wonder Mina doesn’t come back, no wonder all her phone calls go straight into the mailbox.

Dahyun doesn’t want to cry in the office, but her tears don't seem to listen. 

It doesn’t go unnoticed by her closest office mates, Nayeon being the first to realize. She immediately goes to the younger. Seeing her cry just aches her heart in more ways than one. Jihyo and Chaeyoung watch from afar, not wanting to overwhelm Dahyun by the attention.

“Dahyun?” Nayeon calls out softly. The senior has been taking care of Dahyun.

“I… need to use the bathroom.” Dahyun excuses herself, leaving the room to have some privacy. The senior tails her at a fair distance, wanting to make sure that Dahyun is okay.

_It’s the world against them, and the world is winning._

***

“Are you okay?” Dahyun has grown to hate that question because every time people ask her that question, she needs to lie.

She decides not to lie anymore.

“I’m not okay, Nayeon.” she forces the words out of her throat, it feels bitter to admit that her life isn’t going as smooth as she thinks it would.

“I have a girlfriend but she’s dating a co-actor. I miss her so much but I don’t think she feels the same. It’s fucked up.” Dahyun pauses, catching her breath to continue her rant in the bathroom, her face now pressing against Nayeon’s chest.

“We promised to fight the world together, but I’m weak, we’re weak. We can’t win against the world.” Dahyun’s fists clutch on the fabric on Nayeon’s coat for support, because if she lets go, she’d fall on her knees in despair.

Nayeon doesn’t know what to say, it’s a lot to take in. Dahyun has a girlfriend, and the fact that her girlfriend is a famous actress. It’s too much. Maybe it’s too much for Nayeon because she cares about her junior a lot, but the care turns to something more profound. Somewhere along the way, she finds herself falling for Dahyun’s charms.

Nayeon kisses the top of Dahyun’s head, hands rubbing soothing circles on the midget’s back. “Do you want to go home?”

“Office hours aren't finished yet.” she mumbles against the older’s neck.

“It’s fine. I can pull some strings. You need to rest.”

“But—”

“No buts.”

“Still…”

“One more word and I’ll carry you to my car.” Nayeon threatens.

“Fin-, Nayeon, put me down!” Dahyun throws small punches on Nayeon’s chest, only for it to be ignored. 

“I told you one more word and I’ll carry you to my car.” Nayeon teases, carrying the younger to the elevator and bringing her to the parking lot. Nayeon walks to her fancy black sedan, seating the younger on the shotgun.

“I swear everyone was watching.” Dahyun buries her face into her hands to hide her blush, cursing at how pale her complexion is, the red in her cheeks could be easily seen.

“And, what about it?”

Dahyun doesn’t answer, looking out the window instead. 

“Where is your home?” The question caught dahyun off guard. 

_Home._ Is Mina’s apartment considered home? They don’t even see each other anymore. She wants to say her that her home is in Mina’s arms, but she is sure Mina doesn’t feel the same.

“Can we go to your place instead? That feels more like home.” 

“If you want.” Nayeon couldn’t contain her happiness as she finds out Dahyun considers her apartment as home.

***

It takes all of Mina’s courage to go home tonight. It’s 2 in the morning. Dahyun is probably asleep by now. She keys in the passcode, and makes her way to their shared bedroom. Eunwoo was right, this thing needs to be sorted out.

She frowns when she couldn’t find any trace of Dahyun in the apartment.

“Dahyun, are you in the shower?” Mina calls.

Silence was the response.

She opens each door of each room, and Dahyun is nowhere in sight. 

Maybe Dahyun is taking a walk, Mina assumes. Or, she just wants something for relief.

She presses on Dahyun’s contact on her phone, and the operator answers.

She grabs her coat, she knows Dahyun’s safe haven is the park 15 minutes walk from their apartments. There is a high probability that she would find Dahyun there.

She did find Dahyun there.

But Dahyun isn’t alone. There’s a pretty woman sitting next to her, hands stroking Dahyun’s hair. She hates to see Dahyun sniffles on the woman’s shoulder. That should be her spot. She’s her girlfriend, she should be the one Dahyun turns to for comfort.

Mina’s anger overpowers her rationality, she stomps to where Dahyun and the woman are sitting. She doesn’t care if she gets recognized or anything. She just wants to claim her girlfriend.

“Who is she?” Mina snaps, startling both the women. Dahyun wipes her tears, it’s enough tears she shed at the office.

“Nayeon.” the pretty girl with bunny teeth says.

“What are you doing here with my girlfriend at 2 in the morning?” Mina interrogates, eyes glaring at Nayeon’s hand on her girlfriend’s thighs.

Nayeon was about to retort, but Dahyun beat her to it. “Giving me comfort my girlfriend couldn’t give.”

Mina’s jaw slightly falls in surprise, never once that she thought those words would come out of Dahyun’s mouth.

Dahyun really can’t stand looking at Mina’s face, the tears threaten to fall out of her orbs again. So she grips Nayeon’s wrist, making their way to Nayeon’s apartment.

Mina watches as Dahyun turns her back on her, and she knows. She fucking knows that there’s no one to blame but herself. It sucks, didn’t Dahyun promise her that she’d fight the world with her? So why did she do that? Why did she choose someone else over her? 

Is this how Dahyun feels when she sees the headline? This pang of jealousy, this pain, this longing. Mina tries to shrug off the pain in her chest.

She failed.

***

Dahyun immediately rushes to the toilet of Nayeon’s apartment. She bawled her eyes out. She met her girlfriend, but her heart was clouded with anger. Mina didn’t even bother to explain about the headline. But above all, Dahyun still loves Mina. And she hates herself for it.

“Dahyun?” 

“Leave me alone please.” Dahyun pleads, voice weak and trembling with tears.

“I can’t. You can’t be alone like that.”

“Please.”

“I’m coming inside.” Nayeon announces, pushing the door open since the younger didn’t even close the door.

She wraps her body around Dahyun’s petite frame, giving her junior a sense of home she hasn’t felt for so long. 

“Mina… she didn’t even explain about Eunwoo. She saw me crying, and the first thing she asked was who you are.”

“Is she even my girlfriend? Why didn’t she just break up with me if she got herself a boyfriend?” Dahyun vents, and Nayeon listens.

“She didn’t contact me for three days… and right after that her company confirmed the rumor. Just what did I do to deserve that? Was I not enough of a girlfriend? Didn’t I support her enough?” 

“You don’t deserve any of that, Dahyun.” Nayeon assures. She understands Dahyun, if she was to be put in her shoes, she’d feel that way too. Dahyun had been putting up with it for so long, keeping her relationship a secret from the public eyes, still loving Mina the same despite the lack of time they spent together, and Mina gives her all those things in return.

After listing what Mina had done to her, she realised one thing.

_The world didn’t hurt her, her world did._

***

Dahyun skips work the next day. She rolls on Nayeon’s bed, trying to kill some time. She doesn’t really want to check her phone, but the boredom is killing her. The first thing she notices when she unlocks her phone is the myriad of notification from _my world._

She doesn’t want Mina to know that she read it so she reads from the notification bar.

**My world:**

Dahyun

We need to talk

I’m sorry, okay?

Let’s talk this out at home.

“Home?” Dahyun scoffs. Is it still called a home when she comes home to no one every day? Is it still called a home when she sleeps alone at night and wakes up to no one by her side? But she loves Mina too much, and she has something to talk about too. So she sends an ‘ok’ and changes the contact name to Myoui Mina.

She opens her notes app, she needs to think her decision through. It’s a big decision for an almost three years long relationship. She begins typing and erasing. It starts off as a long paragraph, then as a mind map and at the end, it’s just a title with some bullet points. The last one seems to be the most perfect. She reads the title.

_Reasons we should break up._

  * _We lack communication_


  * I can’t keep denying how hurt I was when I have no time to spend with you


  * You ignored me when things aren't going well for the both of us


  * You can’t be here by my side when I need you.



Dahyun pauses before reading the last point. The point she never thought she would write. But there it is.

  * _I’m falling for Nayeon_



She saves the note; she doesn’t think she could say this to her girlfriend(for now). She’d just have her read it by herself.

She pastes a sticky note on Nayeon’s fridge. She looks around Nayeon’s apartment, the number of Dahyun’s belongings occupying the apartment. Nayeon’s extra wardrobe is almost full of Dahyun’s cloth, her toothbrush sitting by Nayeon’s sink. Her plaid pants hang on the hook behind Nayeon’s door. Dahyun smiles a little, feeling the warmth.

***

The atmosphere inside Mina’s apartment is more than tense. It’s suffocating. 

It’s amusing, also disheartening at the same time. Dahyun used to be comfortable with sharing silence with Mina. But now she’s restless, legs bouncing up and down in anxiousness. Dahyun decides to break this silence. Mina did too.

“I’m not dating Eunwoo”

“Let’s breakup.”

They simultaneously speak, and Dahyun isn’t even surprised at Mina’s statement. 

“A.. A breakup?” Mina stammers.

Dahyun nods.

“Is it about the rumor? Dahyun, I’m not dating Eunwoo. Don’t you trust me?” 

“I do trust you.”

“Then why? Why a breakup all of a sudden?” Mina’s voice trembles.

“It’s not sudden. I did a lot of thinking, Mina. I wrote the reasons on my notes app since I can’t say it to you.”

Dahyun fishes out her phone, opening her recently saved note and passes the phone to Mina. 

Mina reads, and she hates how she agrees with everything Dahyun wrote down, except the last one.

“You… you’re falling for Nayeon?” Mina asks, hoping that Dahyun would say no or at least shake her head. But Dahyun gives her a firm nod.

“Why?”

“She takes care of me. She treats me so well. I don’t know if she feels the same, but I am falling for her. She’s always by my side when I need her, she listens when I need to vent. She just feels like home.” Dahyun confesses, eyes shining as she describes Nayeon. 

What Nayeon did was the bare minimum for a girlfriend, but that’s the thing. Nayeon isn’t her girlfriend. Mina is. And Mina didn’t do that

“So, Mina… please let me go. I love you, but being with you hurts.”

Mina clenches her fists, just… how much patience does Dahyun have that she puts up with her for almost three years.

“Nayeon makes sure I’m never in pain. I know you want to do that too, but you can’t Mina. And I won’t let you give up your career because of me.” 

Mina swallows back her tears, she deserves no right to cry. Dahyun does. But Dahyun didn’t cry, she’s calm. She wants to end this relationship on a good note.

“Thank you for the memories, Myoui Mina.” Dahyun stands up, wanting to leave, but Mina holds her wrist, stopping her in her tracks.

“Last kiss?” Dahyun is hesitant, but the look in her eyes makes her caves in. She cups Mina’s cheeks, engulfing Mina’s lower lips in between hers. It’s passionate, but it’s also sad. It’s passionate because Dahyun wants to prove that she really loved Mina, and it’s also sad knowing this is going to be their last shared kiss.

“Goodbye, Mina.”

Dahyun walks out the door.

Mina buries her face on the couch, tears streaming down her face.

Dahyun puts a full stop at the end of their relationship. 

***

“Silly, why do you eat like a baby?” Nayeon teases, wiping the corner of Dahyun’s mouth.

“I am a baby. So you need to feed me.” Dahyun opens her mouth, waiting for Nayeon to put the spoon inside her mouth.

“You’re lucky I love you.” 

“I know. I love you too.” Dahyun chews on her food, swallowing it after it's evenly chewed.

“Really, prove me then.” Nayeon smirks, puckering her lips as she waits for the kiss. Dahyun complies, pressing her lips on Nayeon’s. She enjoys that she doesn’t have any reputation to take care of. She enjoys that she can kiss her girlfriend whenever she wants too. Her phone suddenly vibrates, and she checks the notification.

**Myoui Mina:**

I hope you are happy now. 

Her eyes wander around the cafe, but she didn’t spot any trace of her ex-girlfriend. She shrugs it off, maybe it’s just a coincidence.

Mina puts her phone into her pocket, as she walks away from the cafe. It hurts, but Dahyun is happy now and it’s all that matters. 

Mina is forever grateful she gets a chance to feel Dahyun’s love, even if it’s temporary. She could see how Dahyun finds another world in Nayeon.

Her phone suddenly beeps.

**Kim Dahyun:**

I am. Be happy too. Find someone who’s much better than me.

Mina almost snorts at how impossible that was.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed it. what i wanted to portray in here is just that love alone isnt enough in building a relationship. a relationship is built on trust, respect, commitment and reassurance. sure, love is the main ingredient in a relationship. but you can't make something out of only the main ingredient. and sometimes, no matter how hard you try to convince you're not hurt, you cant deny that. you are hurt. and its up to you whether to stop feeling that pain or just endure it for the sake of love.
> 
> @twicefriendaus on twitter


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